Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
