Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
