...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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