Plan B is the new Plan A
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
