Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize