Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
