Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
