sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
