you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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