I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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