I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
