Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize