Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
