Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
