she looked like the before picture.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
