you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize