I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Life is so much better after having sex.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Found your dick twin last night
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
