I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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