She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just want nice things and good sex
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
soo... how was my night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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