addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
