She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
