So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
