drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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