whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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