she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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