How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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