Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
