I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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