This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Randomize
