About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
