She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
