she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
