atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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