I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
