Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
