You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
thus making me awesome and them whores
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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