You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
