PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
