I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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