So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
