Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I believe in your delicious
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
