tell your sister to shave her snatch
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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