what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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