how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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