is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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