he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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