Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
