Already got asked if we're dating
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
