sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
