Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
