that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
