he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The power of my boobs compel you
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
