DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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