we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also, beer. Big fan.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
